Serzone, Philosophy and My Good Wife

I've been having bloodwork done every two weeks for the last six weeks. It seems that my liver enzymes are elevated to a bad level. This all started when I began taking Serzone. The doctors have ruled out the serzone as the culprit, but I think it strange that the enzyme levels rose with the introduction of this new drug.
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Now with all of this, Pam is scared, and I can't tell her that I have been having some abdominal pain because it will just scare her worse. She's the sort who is scared of the threat of disease. I on the other hand, am the kind of person who believes that some good can come from anything, and in order to keep my mind on track, I must push out all negative thoughts and fear. I also believe that no person can outrun God's design.
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She believes we are under some sort of curse, (given the lives and trauma's we have endured, it is not all that of an unreasonable thought), I honestly believe that she is right on a certain degree, but, not that it is so much from historical avenue, but rather it is through her fear. I have a philosophy that say's that like attracts like. Thus, fear just brings on more fear, and along with it come disease.
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On my side of this issue, I believe that I do have the ability to thwart certain things away with goodness, but, I have allowed myself to become weakened. Between the pain I have endured, the loss of a very good mission oriented job, and depression, I have become weak. I am now in the process of trying to get back into a position of strength. God knows my heart, and it is God who will rebuild...
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Being fair to my wife, she has not been given the right tools or attitude to do well in life. She is an over-achiever, and always does more than the job requires. She is also one who needs the approval of others.....I truly wish things could have been different in her childhood. I do not blame her, but, rather feel sorry. The funny thing about her is that in all her fears, she is one of the most courageous and strong people I have ever met. She never allows an opportunity to do right, to pass her by. She is the kind of person who simply is right, and her following will attest to it. People absolutely love and adore her, yet she is not able to love or adore herself.
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Not sure where this posting went, but at the very least, it is what it is....a posting.
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The point of the posting? I have an appointment with my general doctor next Wed., which will end up getting me a referral to a gastrointerologist. Yeah!....lol



If you want to be right, then simply...."DO RIGHT!"