I'm a Single Parent

Single parent...SINGLE PARENT...I'm a single parent who's married to another single parent who has biologically shared children.

It seems like every time I read about someone having hard times, there's always a single parent involved. When someone has made it big, again, "single parent raised me" and it's almost always the mother.

I think it's getting to be the standard. Something to be proud of.

Personally I don't get it. There was a time when it was not a good thing to be considered a single parent. It usually meant that the "mom" married bad or got pregnant out of wedlock. It surely was no thing to be proud of, and I think there is no virtue to be found in being a "single parent".

Back in my day (a hundred years ago...the dark ages) it was a shame to be found pregnant out of wedlock. Likewise, having to admit that you married a drunk, wife beater, cheater, etc., was no thing to speak of publicly. It was the kind of thing people whispered about. The single parent would get "the look". You know it...kind of a sideways glance and neither the single parent or the one looking down their nose would make eye contact. At best, it was a very nervous situation.

Now get me right here. I am casting no stones and truly do appreciate a single person choosing to birth their child and raise it. If you find yourself in that situation...I say bully for you!

But (<--big but), I do not advise any to take to this lifestyle with a casual attitude. If you find yourself in this situation for whatever reason, take responsibility and do the right thing. Raise your child and go on with life. If though you choose this lifestyle, don't expect to be treated special for it.

There was a time when the family would take the single parent back into the original family and raise the child within their community of family. There was no expectation of society to pay for someones lack of discretion. The point is that having a child meant that two people were united in marriage as a family and the child was a natural progression of this union. It was a blessing and a strengthening of the marriage bond. It was this same blessing that strengthened society.

Today you can find all kinds of social commendation's for the single parent. Society gives support specifically to the single parent. Government supports the single parent, and in this, our tax money goes to pay for a poor marriage choice or indiscretion. Is this right?

When I decided to get smart a few years back and go to college I was big into scholarships. The problem was that I was a middle aged married man with children. Times were tough for us because we didn't have work, but had kid's; ask me sometimes about stress when you have tried to do everything right and things just don't seem to work. What I did find was an abundance of scholarship opportunities specifically for the single parent; more specifically the unwed mother. This angered me and I decided to apply anyway. It was required that you submit an essay about the trials of being an unwed mother and how you would overcome them.

I thought on it for some time then finally sit down and began writing. I wrote about all the dreams I had when I first married. I told of all the things I promised myself I would do for each child as they were born. How I would be the best father I could. I then went on to tell how life just didn't work. How times got hard and how me and the good wife resolved to move on in spite of it all. I told how I felt I had failed my family as a father, but, could never allow my children to be raised in a single parent household. It was tough, but we had resolve. I told how easy it would have been to just walk away from all the troubles I was enduring. I told of how I could never do that because of my responsibility to my wife and children. I explained my upbringing in a house that valued every aspect of family life. I wrote that despite the outcome of the scholarship, it would do nothing to affect my choice of where my family would find me standing. I then issued a challenge to the scholarship committee to support someone choosing to be right despite the hardship it was sure to deliver.

I won the single parent scholarship as a single parent, devoted to another single parent, with biologically shared offspring.

My whole point with this post is to encourage people to stand for what is right and good. Do support the single parent who is fighting to raise their child. BUT (<--big red but) don't encourage it. Do all you can to lead one into the natural progression of family. If you are a parent of a single parent, commit to your child and help raise this grandchild. After all you are the one who raised this child and are charged to stand behind who they become.

When you are raising your children, show them some statistics. Show them how a large majority of people in prison were raised by a single parent, which is most often the mother.

If you are a man who has joined with a woman and created a child, then be the man. Be a part of raising "YOUR" child. If you are practicing your part in fertilizing an egg, then realize that you are doing this with some other man's daughter...then think of what you would do to some man who was "practicing" on your daughter! I promise you this. There is no person who knows me who doesn't know how much I love my wife and children, and to what length I will go to protect them. Be the MAN!

If you are a woman who is participating in the process of practicing conception, then realize how hard life will be if you do become pregnant before you are in a situation to start a family. Never trust a man who says he'll be there. Know he'll be there because you are bound with him as husband and wife.

There are a few exceptions.

• Rape. No reason for it. I once came upon a man trying to rape a woman I worked with. He was waiting in her car with a butcher knife and was going to get what he wanted one way or the other. In short, I busted up my wrist trying to convince him how he had made a bad decision. No person deserves this violation and I DO take a stand. No exception

• Bad marriage? Before you ever consider marrying, take the time to know who you are marrying. Watch this person in good and bad times alike. You will find that a person usually enhances their attitude and demeanor as they age. If they are not a person you know 100% for sure that you want to be with in hard times, then run.

• Something happens. When I was ran over by a car, the recovery and rehab was long and extreme. In the process I went through frustration over not being able to walk. The pain med's changed personality in a bad way and depression was a killer. In short, I became a very bad person to be married to. I was just plain old mean. In working with disabled people I had seen this kind of thing end many a marriage. Sometimes health, or the lack of, makes for a tough marriage. This was the case for my wife. Here's what she did. She stayed and towed the line when I couldn't. She pushed me through my troubles and stayed committed to her vow. It wasn't easy, but she did it anyway. There is no person I love more than her because I know that she will give her all for me, and today I am truly married to my best friend.

I take the time to say all this because I know how hard life can be. I know that sometimes life is cold and more often than not, it's unfair.

I also want to say that if you are the child of a single parent, don't handicap them, but rather, uplift them. Don't tell everyone that you were raised by a single parent (you are saying that you either had a bad dad/mom, or you were an accident). Instead tell everyone how your mother/father raised you and that they are the most committed and loving person you know and leave it at that. Whatever happened is the business of no other person. Tie them to you in a positive manner.

I'm sure this will make somebody mad....tell me about it. Joust with me and you'll find me a fair person to deal with.

Another Job

Along about the time my brother Dab asked about the catalog, my wife Pam took a call asking if we could paint. Can we paint? If it's for money and is honest work, we are diversified enough in skill that we can do most anything. If we can't, we just get a book a read...then we can!

Anyway, I told her to accept the job and for the last two day's we have been working on repair and painting two duplexes. So far I've got over forty hour's invested in just three day's and probably have another ten to go on the first duplex. Will be back at it in the beginning of the next week.

With the hours put in, I've been just staying there instead of the seventy mile daily drive.

We are blessed and the good work is happening. This also makes the guilt of buying a sawmill in these hard times much easier to accept.

Thank you God!

If you want to be Right...DO RIGHT!

Some Good Work

A couple of weeks ago my brother Dab called and asked if I could design a retail catalog for one of his clients. I told him I thought I could and sent him a copy of one I had created as a prototype.

The client liked it and a few days later I was sitting with her designing a catalog. I was told it would probably just be more like an eight page brochure. It turned out to be over forty pages.

After the preliminary work we met again and made some changes and finalized it for her to take to the publisher.

She was happy...I was happy, and Dab was happy.

I really enjoyed this kind of work and hope to do more of it.

Also the money came in very handy. I have been planning for some ten years to someday buy a sawmill so I could process lumber from tree to furniture with no middle-person (I am being politically correct) taking their share.

Last week I ordered the mill and expect to receive it today.

I am excited at the prospect it will provide and pray it will be a good investment.

I Concede

It would seem that many people I know haven't heard that the Presidential election has ended.

I am speaking directly to most (not all) democrat leaning people in my life. Barak Hussein Obama has been elected to be the next president of the United States of America!

You are now free to give it a rest. I do not need to hear about how bad McCain & Palin are, and how they will lead the nation to doom.

While I will openly admit that I did vote on a large part (not all...gasp) a republican ticket; I actually voted for a few democrats on the state level. As I've always maintained, I AM AN INDEPENDENT! The reason I voted the way I did was based on a lack of a better choice. If I had my way Dean would be our new president.

So, based on your new information, I concede the election to the democratic ticket. You will now have all control of our government. You no longer have to bash McCain or Palin as neither of them is any threat to the well being of our nation. Quit beating a dead horse already.

One thing to remember...if Barak Hussein Obama, Joe Biden, Congress, and the YMCA proves to make a better nation, I will thank you for your wisdom. On the other hand, anything that goes badly I will also look in your direction for making a bad decision. It's all on your shoulders now and I will highly encourage you to accept the responsibility in kind. Good or bad...you own it now..

I do hope for a much better future.

Brave New Life

I've finally decided to share a bit that is going on in our lives.

For some time we have worked with a company that provides in-store promotions for primarily Wal-Mart; in addition to other retailers. We've been doing this for a few years and are quite good at it.

A little while ago we got word that Wal-Mart was going to select one company to go with and they did. The company they chose is a giant and had the strength to leverage the move, which means we have no work.

At first we were angry, then came the fear that is associated with the current economic times we are in. Out of Work! Not a very comforting situation to be in. We pulled on our pants of courage and on we push.

We also do other contract work and are being a bit successful in securing more contracts/clients. We're very resourceful and have to just push on. This is not the worst we've seen as a family and I'm quite confident we will do well.. In fact, we usually do just the opposite of that which society seems to be doing. In easy times we usually see hard times. In hard times...we are successful as it provides a time for survival through quick and responsive resourcefulness.

In other direction's we have decided to pursue a business that we have prayed hard on and truly believe will be a success. It is one business that does not pay any attention to time's or economy. If it doesn't' work, it will only be for a lack on my part. I can accept that. I truly don't mind taking responsibility for what I do. I see it much better than living at the will of someone else.

Is it better to be a successful slave, or fail while being a free man. I can live with myself.

If you want to be Right...Do RIGHT!

I'm Going Native!

We, and I assume many of you, watched the election results roll in tonight with much excitement and anxiety. As is always the case, the electoral votes waxed for one candidate and waned for the other. I voted the waning ticket and I was disappointed. But, I've got a new President-Elect, and being an American, I am obliged to accept him as such. I'll get in line.

A couple of things really stuck out tonight to me.

First, Sen. McCain gave one of the most bipartisan and gracious concession speeches I have ever heard. He didn't go on about anything but acceptance of OUR choice. He urged us to support his opponent and congratulated him in his win. No bitterness and no anger. What I saw tonight was a true gentleman and an honorable statesman.

I do fear we made the wrong choice, and that is my birthright as an American to hold this opinion. I pray that President-Elect Obama proves to be a wise and righteous leader. If he doesn't be the President we need, I know where the fault will lie. Squarely on the shoulder's of George W. Bush.

Think about it.

• Iraq....George W. Bush.
• Flopping economy....George W. Bush
• Hurricane Katrina....George W. Bush (he should have diverted that nasty storm)
• Iraq....George W. Bush
• Everyone in the world hates us....George W. Bush
• High gas prices....George W. Bush
• Fuel pump went out on my van....George W. Bush
• Global warming....George W. Bush
• My chainsaw quit running....George W. Bush
• Iraq....George W. Bush
• I caught Type II diabetes....George W. Bush
• Someone in the military got killed....George W. Bush (no disrespect meant...serious)
• Wal-Mart ran out of bell pepper's....George W. Bush

If something (anything) went wrong in the last eight year's, it was George's work. Talk about one seriously powerful dude.

Back on point, the second thing that stuck out was the African American vote. While scanning the different network's, one comment made by many African Americans was one of pride for an African American being president. It would seem that for many, it was the man's race that was up for election, and not the man himself. Not all, but many insinuated that this was the case. If this is right, we may be in big trouble. I honestly do pray that Barak surrounds himself with truly wise people and is man enough to listen.

Likewise, I know that many "white" people wouldn't vote for Barak due to the fact that he is not fully white. This is just as bad. Vote for the RIGHT American...whomever they may be. Here we are in the 21st century and race/gender still plays such a role. Look at who they are and what they have done in life, then vote. What is wrong with us?

Now, based on what I've seen, I have decided to claim my heritage to advantage. I've been pondering going into public service and now believe it to be the right direction to move toward. Unlike Barak Obama, I'm not half white, but more along the lines of one quarter white. The rest of my blood runs Native (Cherokee). That's right! I can lay a large claim to what most of you white people who through inheritance, have stolen from my inheritance. Therefore, I am not among the majority and I believe it due time for me to finally advance my particular ethnic brethren.

Until tonight, I have honestly held a race neutral view of myself and my fellow citizens. We were all simply American. I have to blame this on my father; a fine and honorable man he was. I remember once asking him why he wouldn't even try to assure our name on the Indian role. He explained that while he was proud of our heritage, that it was the United States of America that held his military service. He also explained that he wanted no advantage over any of his neighbors. We were simply Americans. Honestly, are we not all native Americans?

I've also been disturbed by the many interview's I've seen on the news in recent weeks. There has seemed to be a directive to get out and see what the African American thinks...almost to exclusion. What about what I think? Are we living in such an unenlightened time that a Native American could not hold an opinion on their potential President? Does my blood make me unworthy while the blood of another is more worthy? Lord, let me be wrong and let us all have enough integrity to pray for our new leader's.

The future (2012),

President G. Redneck (remember my name)

We Voted!

Today was the big day! We got up early and put on our best dud's. I even donned my cowboy hat, boots, and lucky belt buckle.

The first pic is of our local polling place. I know, I know...you are thinking I must live in Beverly Hills or some place equally as affluent, but you would be wrong. Just because I live in the middle of Redneck Estates doesn't mean that we play things down. In fact, some thought the fancy facility might take away from the event at hand; it was decided that we should just leave the antenna standing and go ahead and allow the voter's to use the executive parking facility. I think it just added to the grand event taking place.

If you look close, you can see an elder gent in the white whip (car) and a dog in the white pickup truck wondering who I was and why was I taking their picture. I was fortunate to have gotten that shot. As we were pulling away, I could see security swarming in the rear view mirror.

This pic of the princess is my 6-yr. old Katie. She was excited because I let her drive down our driveway. Actually she steered as I held her on my lap, but to her, she was the pilot. I wish though that she would quit sticking her tongue out every time the camera comes out.

Was a big day indeed...